…The Musings of a Strange Guy

Aap ki Daily Khabrain by Raj and Shumz


Aaj main shumz se mila. Voh pagal thi! Mwahahahahahahahahahhaha…

I met shumz. She was rolling on the pavement, shieking and tearing out her purplish hair while beating her chest.
I pretended not to notice her. But she saw me and bore down on me…shrieking: “Raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaj!!!!‘ I was trapped! I couldn’t run away. I looked up with a puzzled smile and said: ‘Aloooooooooooooooooo’.
Unfortunately, she didn’t have any potatoes at hand, but she gave me her hand instead. It really felt strange, meeting someone from LJ which you thought you’d never meet.

So, we talked a while, especially about bowling balls and potatoes. After some time, since I was aware that she wouldn’t leave at all, I proposed, since I’m so generous and kind, to accompany her to town. Who cared if my legs looked like a mushy mass of squashed boiled peas. So, we went to the city.

Gods, I thought that it’d be only a matter of one or two hours of aimless walking, enough – fervently hoped- to tire her off and send her screaming back home… but no… that was not to be… Destiny had written something totally different for me this Saturday…

Shumz had to got to the record shops. She had a mission, she confided to me, a divine mission to obtain all the tickets for all the available raves in this universe. Unfortunately, the lack of tickets in the initial shop we went to made her so furious that the shop burnt down. So, to cool her down, I thought thta some extra calories might put her in a good mood. We went to do some Vindow shopping, went to McDonalds for some supremely exotic and fattening food, had some icecream, did some more Vindow shopping, ventured upon a secret lair of gaming strategy lovers, and got lost in the mazes of a box full of needles, guarded by fierce, ancient old ladies who blocked the door and wouldn’t have let us out alive if Shumz had not threatened them with her dripping icecream. Then we went to the Corn Exchange where the shops were closing in, and we barely missed being locked inside, which frankly-speaking, would have been a nice prospect given the 15 year old angsty Goth kids lounging outside the building… But we finally escaped through an interdimensional portal named ‘EXIT’ and arrived at Waterstones Bookshop where Shumz immediately fell in rapture in front of a graphic novel, while I tried to memorise all the names of Contemporary writers and drooled over the SF shelves…

Finally, divine inspiration hit me and I conceived the intense, smouldering desire to visit the computer clusters, which I did, and where yours truly finds himself righteously sitting at the moment…

so, that’s all for now…

Our computer being comatose at the moment, we are unable to resume our usual services. Please contact your local representatives for information, and (where applicable) a refund.

Yeh ti aaj ki khabrain.

Shukriya and

Ta, Luv!


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