The Rider of Clouds has been walking a lot these past few days: it’s a strange feeling to be at home and try to make oneself feel the holiday spirit. I guess it’s the first holidays I’m having after having joined the working masses. It is possible that I’ll regret those few days of freedom as soon as the next school term starts, hehe.
Today, I went to see The Grudge. It reminded me of some of the horror movies that I’ve seen recently, such as Ringu(Japanese Version of The Ring), as well as Hindi films such as Bhoot and Vaastu Shastra, especially the latter, which must have been derived from the original Japanese version as well. I hate it when I see strands of narrative in a film that I already recognise; it makes me feel as if the movie’s no longer worth the price I paid for the ticket.
Funny thing: I went to the cinema on my own, and guess who were waiting for their film to start? Some of my students, hehe, who looked bemused and rather at a loss on seeing me. They were going to see another film, though, but I’m sure that there’ll be references to that day when we start school again. The thing is, I’ve been down to Port-Louis so much this week: 3 times in four days; the Capital is proving to be irresistible for me. Since we are one of the rare secondary schools to have granted school holidays one week earlier (most schools and colleges are having their hols as from tomorrow), I’m bound to keep meeting my students at some of the places I go to. The other day, I saw two of them at the Caudan Waterfront; they said hi and we talked briefly. The funny thing is that they had this preconceived notion that since I am their teacher (and am older than them), this means that I have no social or public life. Ah well, as I am one of their youngest teachers, they’re going to find out that not everything (or everyone) totally fits the mould.
The movie was ok, though I had already known what would happen at the very last minute…no Miss Buffy here to save the day!
After the movie, I went Walking. Walking with a Capital ‘W’, like I haven’t done for quite a while. Returning home soon after the movie wasn’t an option I had envisaged; for one, the CWA had been fiddling with one of the water-supply pipes so that we’d been having problems with our water supply the whole day. Secondly, no one was at home, and I’d also finished the latest books I’d brought/bought. (Incidentally, checking my accounts the other day revealed that I’m spending too much on books. I have to admit that book-shopping is one of the rare things I splurge money on. But I’ll try to restrain that hand of mine that so easily reaches out to the wallet.) Finally the heat and accummulated humidity is such that it’s literally impossible to stay indoors during the day! I’d rather be out walking in the fresh air (and scorching sun, hehe) than being slowly cooked and steamed..
So, I spent nearly three hours walking about the city, walking the streets; my mom was telling the other day that I might end up being mugged or beaten up someday if I keep walking in the Capital till late. But I find something soothing and relaxing, something cleansing even, in walking among these people, my people. Somehow, that act of walking becomes a penance, since I feel I owe it to myself not to alienate myself from the world I live in. A world so beautiful; a world with so much to offer. I am not perfect, things escape my perception and my grasp. I wish I were able to understand everything but I cannot. Some things I feel and some things I make sense of and some things I just think and rationalize about. There is a space in the mind and a space in the material world; knowing those spaces and the relationship between them animates me and pushes me to discover things outside of my inner world.
You must have heard of this expression, ‘getting lost in the crowd’? I sometimes find that my perspective is turned inwards, that I’m self-reflexive in much of what I do and think. Growing up the way I have, in the midst of all those people I call mine, with all their troubles, desires, wishes, hopes, demands have made me slightly distrustful of all those discourses. Doing what is “right”, thinking what is “right”, how relative these terms are! No, i don’t go into the crowd to lose myself; nor do I go there in any hope of finding myself. The crowd, the streets, those spaces…they are just as powerful a catalyst as the closed space of my bedroom, my little haven from where I write this. These moments outside are sometimes as valuable as moments spent with my family and friends. They mean a lot to me. Which is why I’m suddenly writing all this on good ole eljay tonight. Umm, err…
On another note, school resumes on the 25th of April. On the agenda:
Coursework correction for the F5
introduction to coursework to the F4
starting one new novel and two plays + continuing work started in Term 1
Poetry introduction for the F6 + finishing Macbeth
Getting down to doing actual TOK seminars
making things more fun for the F2 while making them work/learn: they have worked very hard and I’ve been very demanding in Term 1
I’m looking forward to Term 2, hehe